I have finally found an accurate representation of how I feel about interacting with most members of my species.
Assume you are average. Now imagine having a conversation with a person with, let’s say, Down Syndrome. Got that? Now imagine that 95% of everyone you know and interact with on a day to day basis suddenly has Down Syndrome. The world functions at their pace, and you must work at the same pace or else work entirely alone. Conversations are stunningly slow and painfully simple. You can predict what is going to be said next, and you’re already not interested, but you have to be polite and wait for them to get their point out or you’re a jerk. You can see a flaw or three in most of their thought processes, but if you pointed every flaw out, you’d be considered cruel, so you just have to shut up and try not to let it grate on you. You light up like a lantern when you run across someone with whom you can have a “real” conversation, but similar levels of intelligence do not always mean similar attitudes and conclusions about life, and finding a true friend at your own level is difficult and often a painful search.
I’m not saying that the people around me are stupid. I’m saying that my IQ is above theirs to the same extent that theirs is above a person with mental retardation. It’s not their fault; it’s not my fault, either. It’s random genetics, but it’s isolating, numbing, frustrating, and often painful, and you’re not allowed to complainbecause complaining about how hard it is to have “a big, fat brain” is like complaining about how hard it is to be a lottery winner. No one wants to hear about the downsides to your good fortune, even if they are immense and even ultimately ruinous.
It’s hard for me to share this or even think this way because I feel like a jerk, it’s just that, it’s true.